*GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS…

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be
dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here’s why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.
During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden
in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out
and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living
room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a
snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the
behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and
fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him
up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests,
loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the
Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is still
in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He
armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under
the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions,
where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and
fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to
use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and
slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned
goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where
it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so
she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the
kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it
down the man’s throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here…

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed
that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest
them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened
over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and
his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and
one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the
snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the
lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire
in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell
through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who,
startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an
oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked
police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the
fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder
when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore
out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the
telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the
house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the
house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new
car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced
a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he
thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that’s when he shot her.*

{from an email}

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