Donna Sauraq Erickson
My Time With The Counselor
I felt safe in his presence. I sat in the corner of the couch, and he sat on the recliner. I put my head in my hands and started to cry. So much pain! How long must I endure so much? Logan is sweet and innocent and why does he have to suffer so much? It’s tiring, and hard to always be bogged down with the issues of autism: lack of sleep, frustration, and always wondering “why?”.
I sobbed and sobbed.
“Self pity is a hard place to be.” He said.
“Logan is so blessed. He can see, he can hear, and he can think. He is loved and he is smart. You mustn’t give into self pity. Do not let it control you. Focus on the good things, let go of the other stuff.”
We sat in silence and I let it sink in. My mind wandered to other issues. “How do I forgive people? So and so was so mean to me today! She is always so very rude, and her job is in public service. I’ve never done anything to her and she treats me like she hates me with a passion!”
“Let it go.” He said. “Allow her to be that way, and let it go. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. Don’t even allow it to bother you, give it to me and I will handle it. ”
I cried and released the hurt that she inflicted on me. It felt good to let it go. “Forgive her.” He said. “She has had a hard life.”
It seems impossible at times!, I cried. There are several people I have to constantly forgive!
“I am always here to help you.” He said. “Nothing is impossible with me.”
A huge load fell off of my back. The tears that fell were hot. When we were done, I thought about what the Counselor said: “Allow her to be that way…” Allow them to be that way? Allow them to be that way. Allow the bullies to be that way. For they are just hurt people with faults. I have faults too.
“Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”
“And I will give you a Counselor, the world will not know him or see him, but he will guide you into all truth.”